Top 5 Reasons Why AFL Dream Team Is Destroying Your Life
July 29, 2008
A new disease is rearing its ugly head in the world of football … Dream Team Addiction. Here’s a quick 5 point checklist for you to find out if you need to seek medication, or god forbid you are past the point of no return!
5. You know every stat value in Dream Team and your mind is filled of these numbers bouncing around whenever your player gets a stat.
However, when you know your opponent’s team and you start seeing numbers when they rack them up as well, you are looking in trouble. Once you’re seeing plays as numbers it’s as good as over for you - goodbye football fan, hello Dream Team Geek. Like the binary nerds before you, you’re reduced to a series of 1s and 0s.
Super Coach users rejoice - you’ll never fall victim to the DT nightmares keeping you awake. That scoring system is harder to work out than the Duckworth/Lewis system - so leave your spanner set at home and get a good night’s rest.
4. Your mobile phone runs hot with all sorts of Dream Team score updates from the half time and full time scores.
(If you only get the full time updates there might be hope for you yet, but half time updates are a sure sign of the nut house).
3. You are delirious when two of your players play possession football in the backline and annoy all those around you by calling this latest fad ‘the greatest tactic since Pagan’s Paddock’.
Even if this is a close game late in the fourth quarter, you no longer boo but instead cheer ‘clock management’ and have your own footy to hold high above your head.
2. You have cursed, slammed your fist on the table, punched the wall, thrown the remote or smashed something for any of the following reasons:
- your DT player hand balls when they could kick - your DT player drops a soda of a mark in the clear - your DT player gives away a free - your gun back pocket attracts a tag (hello Heath Shaw) - your DT player gets a free, but advantage is given to another player (in front of goal this may warrant wall punching) - your low scoring back men is not getting involved in the short pass after a point - your player is not getting involved in clock management or “tempo” footy
But the major one is…
1. You forget about the team you support and start cheering for your Dream Team players to carve them up.
Sorry - but this is crossing the line. Not only are you a disgrace to your club, but there is no way coming back from here. Nothing is more un-Australian - it’s time to book yourself some time on the couch, and no I don’t mean with Mike Sheehan (although you might sit next to him in the waiting room…).
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