Get Back With Your Ex: The First Steps
July 29, 2008
The dreaded day has finally arrived, your ex and you have broken up. What should you do now? This article will lay out the next crucial steps to take right after the breakup.
1.) The very first item for you to deal with is panic and stress. Your efforts at getting your ex back will be counter productive if you are stressed out. Don’t bring up your ex’s faults with your friends.
This type of discussion only serves to strengthen negative feelings. Talk of this sort will make your friends feel uncomfortable. Their suggestions will be of questionable value if they’re inexperienced at dealing with relationship problems.
2.) This problem isn’t going to repair itself. You will have to put forth the effort to change things for the better. A cool head will be needed to do this.
Your first instinct after the breakup will be to patch things up as fast as possible. There is no quick fix to relationship problems. As a matter of fact, you should let things cool off for about a month.
It helps tremendously if the breakup occurred in a non threatening way. Some time will be needed for reflection, to get things into perspective. Understanding the reasons behind the breakup is essential before any attempt at contacting her.
3.) Establish a friendship with her. This may be somewhat difficult but it is well worth the effort since it allows for further contact with her. The current status of your relationship is always defined by what was said during the last contact. Her present thoughts about you were molded by that last contact you had with her.
Do the fun things with her that you did back in the beginning, before you had sex. This will serve to remind her of the good side of your relationship. She will understand that she’ll be giving this fun aspect up if she leaves you.
4.) Be very careful when drinking alcohol. It will distort your common sense and judgement. The consumption of alcohol late at night often causes a person to give their ex a phone call.
No one is happy about getting a phone call late at night. This is particularly true if it’s their ex on the phone. Because the alcohol will loosen up your inhibitions, things will be said that will make matters worse.
5.) Get out and have fun. I know that it’s easier said than done, but it has great therapeutic value. This is the time to renew the old friendships and make a few new ones. Living life again will give you a more balanced perspective and help lessen the pain of separation.
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